Me, my self image and a shopping spree!

The way I see myself, and feel about myself, changes on pretty much a daily basis these days. It could depend on a million things but it usually comes down to:
  • food (what I have/haven't eaten)
  • tiredness
  • mood
  • work
Recently this has been pretty bad, I have been over eating and eating really bad food (chocolate, sweats, McDonald's). This means I have put on some weight and also have quite a few spots at the moment which sucks. It means my clothes are feeling a bit tighter and I generally don't like myself that much. The problem with food, and having a bit of an obsession with it is that you can't just give it up (cold turkey or otherwise) like you could with drink or have to eat..and I find that when I break the seal (breakfast, or the first piece of chocolate in a while or the first McDonald's in a few weeks) I just can't stop going back for more!

I try and go to bed early now and again to catch up on a few hours sleep, I haven't felt too bad this week but I have been going to sleep at around I have a feeling this will catch up with me! Dave and I have a night out on Saturday where Ada is having a sleep over with her grandparents, so hopefully we'll get a bit of a lie in and a relax which will be good for us both.

My mood is obviously linked to everything else, and affects how a feel about myself. I get frustrated by lots of things, that I do, that Ada does, that Dave doesn't do (mainly around the house). I can be ratty one minute and fine the next, it's hard to control (although reading about the Happiness Project a few weeks ago helped me to try and be more positive)...also, I have even worse mood swings when I have's really not pretty and can be me being 'snappy' with Dave and Ada to me feeling really down in the dumps and totally un-motivated and uninterested in sucks, and when I'm like that I always forget it'll pass in a few days...and over eat..and then when I start to feel better I wonder what the fuss was about!

Last week was awful, as well as a week a few weeks before, I ate loads of McDonald's (comfort food for me), sat in the car for hours instead of being in the office, and generally didn't have the confidence or the desire to go out and do anything. I hibernated.

In contrast, this week has been great. It started with a chance to vent my frustrations with myself to Lisa last Friday night at Chapter, then I woke up feeling positive and had a good day at work then went out for a friend's birthday on Saturday...then skating on Sunday morning and the good mood continued into Monday. This week I've helped out with workshops, attended and hosted meetings and been fine with all of it! Yay!

Kind of what my new scarf looks like...

Aaanyway, I found myself yesterday in a position where I had a spare hour before work (as I was working late that evening) so went to explore a new-to-me cheap clothes shop, thinking I might find something nice, but could just have a browse if not...I managed to buy a pair of jeans, a top, 2 jumpers and one for Dave and a dressy top too....reasonably cheap and I was a happy girl. I then headed over to Tesco to see if I could get a pair of my favourite jeans, I did...a lovely soft mustard scarf, and a denim tunic, along with some tights I got the other day and the addition of new glasses (which I hope to get next month from Glasses Direct) and some new shoes (from Schuh) I should be all set for Autumn/Winter.

Wish List:
Shoes from Schuh

Carrera CA6188 Glasses from Glasses Direct

P.S. A good night at 'Derby practise also helped me feel better last Friday, it's not on this week so will have to get my fix on Sunday morning!

No comments: